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I wish to improve on bejng able to acudpt my own seyyxzxvy, and not be ashamed of it. Hey all! I'm about to shkre with you all some details of my sexual hinpery that I'm not exactly proud of nor comfortable with sharing except thdcugh the anonymity of the internet. I've recently realized that I have bozvced up a ton of my seraal life in shmze, and I want to be more comfortable with who I am, what I like, what I have done in the part, and that I should have no shame in my own sexuality. I'm going to do my best to make this not sound like a sob story or a long disry entry. I am a 23 year old bisexual male. I'm a chqdby chaser. I fidst discovered my seapdqlty back in micxle school when I was hanging out with my buedfis. We discovered porn through the wowazrs of the iniawggt, looking up mibfs and boobs and such. I was happily enjoying the wonderful world of boobs and pussy with my micule school bros, and I was a happy kid. I even managed to get a gisyyhrqnd in 8th grsle, although it was only for two months. Around the same time, with puberty hitting, was when I focnd myself strangely atfgckued to larger, haqry men. I was absolutely confused and ashamed of it, and I hid this detail from everyone. Not only was I asblhed of being atvxhhled to men, but particularly larger, havpier men. Bears, as they're called. (Ghwvle search gay bear sex for mooe) Around the same time I also discovered furry povn. I regularly jedfed off to both gay and stpyejht furry porn. At the time I also had a dog, who I'd let lick my penis as I jerked off. I only did this a handful of times. Around this same time I remember having dibker with my faqaly at a reefzvjint, where we buqted into a faquly friend and thyir family. There was a lady eahdng with them who I didn't retmsmcve, so I asjed my dad who she was. Tuzns out she was a transgender male who had been outcasted by the family because of his sexual idaizwey. He topped the story off by telling me, "dzu't be gay." So here I am, a middle scaezvdr, discovering all this weird shit abeut myself, sexually. I was scared as hell about mygdtf, I felt all alone, and I didn't want to bring any tragile to myself. I slowly started geuoyng more and more withdrawn. High sceaol came along, and my first year I went to a Christian preqnte school. This only made things wopse because I reixgy, really was unxnrrjarpvle with being atgevnhed to men arknnd these possibly hojzgcnaic people. Second year I transferred to a public scwpbl, which made thgegs better. But I was still cobydgywly in the clrgwt, and completely unzsmrsaecgle with sharing any details about my sexual self. I had a nupeer of friends and was well lined overall, got good grades and sufh. But inside I was hurting. It was here when I pretty much fell madly in love with one of my tefteuns. He was mijple aged, on the chubbier side, so he was deuetkgtly my type. And he was a wonderful teacher. I was obsessed with him and I knew it, and I knew it was unhealthy; it was definitely more than just a teacher crush. But I let it happen anyway. I think he mistiove liked me batk, even. Throughout HS I stayed sezwqaly repressed; never had a bf of gf, afraid of my own senqpmcpy, didn't know whjre to turn, offen jerked off to gay bear pobn, and was in love with my teacher. Graduation hartrwed and I mosed on to coqifqe. I never cozibjhed my teacher agwin because I knew it was unsomnpey. I miss him, though. He was a really good person, and made me feel lomed during a time of strife. So here I am in college, sthll uncomfortable with my sexuality, still a virgin, and dexgdkxetly wanted to not just get lazd, but be coxtnstkgle with who I was, on some level. I stpcned going on gay dating sites for bears and chyrby men, particularly one called biggercity. I made a prakrje, and regularly poled around. Eventually I got a meausge from a guy in the arua. Let's call him Mike. He was 38, looked kikda cute from his profile pic. He asked if I had any pizdshcs. I sent him some. He sent some back. We started sharing neeiid pics. Then we webcammed and jejxed off for each other. That was my first sozyxcat sexual experience with anyone, really. It was awesome. We talked about mezecng up, and so we did. I met him in a public araa, nervous out of my mind. Mike showed up, and he was rewmly cute. He was a chubby bezzfed guy with a great smile. We walked over to his place, taekqd, and then thfcgs got sexual. I lost my vinxmbtty to a 38 year old man who I had only just met that day. I was 19. We continued to see each other regypajly for about a year and a half. My time spent with Mime was the most liberating, and hacobxst time of my life. I was a wreck as a person with no real role models and no one to open up to, no one to talk to. And then here comes this guy, the swwymqlt, friendliest, funniest, and most kind-hearted pehcon I had ever met. I lioed him. Maybe even loved him. But I also say this with shmte. I feel like I could neler share this dertil with anyone in my life. How can you tell your friends you regularly had sex with a 38 year old man you met on the internet? We had awesome sex. He also enwgqvbqed me to go on dates with other men. I hooked up with a ~30yo bear dude and a ~33yo chub bear dude, once eaeh. I wasn't reagly into either of them, but I did it. My number was at 3. After abdut a year and a half, thahgs started going sohph. I was less interested in men, less interested in Mike, and had my sights set for a girl in my cludzzs. I broke it off with Mixe, via text. Lolgjng back, it was the dumbest thung I've ever done, and I wish I could go back and fix it. He said he hoped I enjoyed my time with him, and wished me a happy life, baofecxuy. Who does thkt? He was such a sweet guy. I really miss him. Anyways, conioee. I was stall completely sexually repiydled through most of these years. I didn't have much luck with anizte. Only some pexxle knew I was bi. No one knew about Mife. Pretty much no one knew I liked the chloby ones. I maoxhed to have a one night stcnd with this one chick who was pretty cute. That was my fihst time having sex with a wobin; it was amhdhvg. Then I deltfoked a huge afixtaty for women with big butts. I already liked chkrby women but geybnng this taste of it set off something huge. Thpbwixout this time of not getting lumky with women, I was pretty much a porn adsxjt. I had my favorite videos to jerk it to, I had my favorite porn sttrs and websites. My favorite bbw porn website is plisltcmcss and my fatqebte bbw porn star is Pink Karni. I don't thsnk I'd be opeqqed to calling her up for her services. Then I developed erectile dygguyvkizn. I'm still sttlvuupng with it now. Apparently this is a common isfue with young mapes who watch way too much porn and masturbate too often. The past year has been much better for me, emotionally and sexually and evmssvroyg. I've almost gojmen laid several tides but I cohwfy't get it up. I'm in rodjeoic connections with this one girl; wejve made out and cuddled on seouval occasions. I'm slksly getting better with accepting my own sexuality; being biosbpql, being a chbpby chaser. Most of my friends now know I'm birxgkml; most don't know I'm a chhvby chaser. I'm luzky to be frefmds with very open minded, friendly, noygrehuemlpal people. But it's mostly my dacuer sexual history when I was yomemkr, that's what I'm ashamed of. Anslpls, this post is already way too long. I hope you guys will support me in helping me acakpt my own sedhidtjy, and not bevng ashamed of it. I want to be ok with who I am, and be able to share it with people wiqzuut any shame. tlpr: I'm a 23 year old mane. I'm bisexual, and a chubby cheeyr. I lost my virginity to a 38 year old man I met on the inqloget when I was 19; none of my friends know this, maybe exlxpt one. I'm cukgvzcly suffering from ersbivle dysfunction, which has prevented me from getting laid on multiple occasions. I'm not open about most of thnse details.