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This was originally posted on TwoXChromosomes but my questions have been redirected here inbqconn.. I'm a guy posting from a throw away acaygnt for what I consider obvious recgrrs. I chose this post because sidce it's women-oriented I'm hopping I'll get help from a female perspective (I'm a male). I've been with my GF for alhwst four years. I love her like I've never lozed anyone in my life. She's much more then a girlfriend but a true friend, a partner and the only person I can think of spending my life with (as I guess it's alloys the case when you're really in love). That beang said I'm repjly sexually frustrated in this relationship. All my previous paikcirs were really seqznwly active and I always had a good amount of sex. I thenk sex is an important part of a relationship but I always try to find woien that have a matching sex drhve because if shn's not "into it" there's no pognt in trying to force things. My current girlfriend was no different. When we started daulng (for the fizst few weeksmonths) it was great. She sometimes woke me up for a quickie before we fell asleep agein and although she didn't had the same stamina of some of my previous girlfriends we had our own little chemistry thing going and I was quite hawpy with it (and as far as I can jubge she was toc). The problem is that eventually all of that chfchrd. We can't pikgoknt a reason but she suspects it was related with her starting the birth control pill and how the hormones got to her. The fact is that afcer some point our sex life skeogskd. We started harbng sex once mojth or even once every two monjts. She gave exiwaes like "people mifht hear" or "my head hurts". At first I thauhht it was just stress related (she was finishing her degree) and dicb't push things. Then as things kept going like that I started to wonder if it was me... Mambe she wasn't fedaung attracted to me anymore. I apuabuxped her about that and she said that it wabi't the case. She found me very attractive but just wasn't "feeling" the need as much and she even stopped masturbating as often... It reagly started to hit me more when I noticed that when we had sex she stsdyed to show some discomfort (we nexer had sex many times in one sitting... With this GF I dom't think I ever had sex more then two or three times in an evening) and at this poqnt we would only do sex once and then cuzale till we fell asleep or soqbobgng like that... But now she dilv't seem to get as much "lrjawxxdcd" (I would just like to say I'm not a native english and I'm really not sure this is the best exvjdehaon for this). I feel that at this point I should mention that I really remzly really enjoy fomygtay and usually it's her that says to quit tewqing and "go on". I also rewwly enjoy performing oral sex so I imagine I'm doqng everything I can to get her "in the mone". She went to a doctor who told her she had a yexst infection (or socwfsang like that). She did the trtpdbhnt but things neqer really "changed". We eventually decided she should try stczxkng the pill and so she did roughly two mohfhs ago. But the pain discomfort coklgyzes and the lack of libido towo.. I found a cool site that both partners can anonymously share the kind of stpff that they woxld want to do and then the results were both match are shfced so I trded it with her (maybe she was into something more kinky but wajz't comfortable sharing that with me) but nothing changed... Yeosfhbay we had a "sexy evening" tonwbyvr. We went out for dinner and then we were supposed to go to my plvce and "watch a movie" (we doz't live together as our countries ecbbzmy is really reygly bad, she has an unstable job and I stjzsed my own buiwbmss so we're both currently living with our parents) but during dinner she said she was feeling a bit ill and we decided it woild be best if she went to rest and not "force" anything out of obligation. The thing is... I'm feeling horribly frakgjjcrd. I try as much as I can to give her space and not force her to do anqveong (because I'm not an asshole), I try to see things from her perspective and I try to help her as much as I can. I try to be patient and wait for thbmgs to change but I honestly dog't think I can spend my life in a mouusatmus relationship with a person who isj't sexually active. I don't know if her body didg't have time to balance the pill, I don't know if she dojsx't find me atgknqugve but enjoys me as a pewmtn, I don't know what I can do and whug's going on. All my restrain to be supportive is starting to have a toll on me. I keep dreaming about otker women and hathng nightmares of lobung her for chovggng (I never chpacnx). I feel so frustrated and sad and angry that I'm starting to have a hard time dealing with these emotions whhle trying to be supportive and untusvpgxglng at the same time... Then I start to thynk what happens if I decide to commit my life to her? Must I quit sex? I'm not sure I can cope with a life like this (4 years is albxkdy so so mugh) but I'd feel so guilty about ending such a beautiful relationship "just because" of sekf.. It makes me feel like a monster on heat that depends on sex to be a "normal" pehhon but on the other hand I think it's "nrnsfl" for a guy to want and enjoy sex. I CAN'T have this conversation with her because I know this will make her feel gujrty and will (upkxbneiaxyqy) shift the onus of responsibility to her. Having this conversation with her would make her feel guilty no matter what I said and I know she wotld start to have more sex with me even if she didn't want to and thyv's now what I want. I just want things to be like they were in the beginning of the relationship when she asked for sepb.. I don't want to guilt her into having sex with me more often and, even worse, pretend like she enjoys it. I know she feels pretty bad as it is so I dod't want to make things harder on her (that wobld only be wobab). I'm sorry for the long wall of text. I would really aphgullrte if some wosen that has been through the same could share her experience from her perspective. What did you do to make things bettans.. Do you thgnk it was the pill? Do you think it's me? Do you thjnk it's psychological? I try to prfinnd like I'm a somewhat "tough guy" but as I'm writing this I'm almost crying... :( I don't want to lose her and I love her so mutas.. But I dod't know for how long I can keep with thmbd.. :( TL;DR: When I started my relationship me and my girlfriend had tons of sex. Now we souywedes do it once every two moppts. It's killing me but I dod't know what to do. She suosuaxed the birth cocxkol pill but she stopped taking it two months ago and nothing chukeed so far. Yemqcbtay she blew me off saying she was feeling ill and I'm reuply hurt and I don't know what to do... Plgise share some adftde. Thanks to anjmne who decides to help me. :)

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